Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Fools Day - Klingon Tests

Back a couple months ago I posted a couple of bad jokes I had made up about hydrogen.  Since then I've been thinking about posting more jokes, but in a testing vein.  I've done that before (here and here), and April Fools' Day seems like a good time to do it again.

If you hate Star Trek, you might want to stop now.  You won't really get it.

Okay, what I'm posting below is actually a repeat of some jokes I had on my group's website when I worked at HP.  Enjoy.

  • Specifications are for the weak and timid!
  • You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
  • Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
  • What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software releases. Our software escapes, leaving a bloody trail of designers and QA testers in its wake.
  • Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
  • Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
  • A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment on his code!
  • Klingon software does NOT have BUGS. It has FEATURES, and those features are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.
  • You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert unless you have read it in the original Klingon.
  • Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

As a bonus feature, a friend of mine from high school forwarded these old Star Trek images to me.  Enjoy.

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